
I now have an entire new perspective on the importance of having two functional legs.........
Monday was a beautiful day for a run. There was a chill in the air at 7am. It was the first run in a week and a half. I am grateful to say that I have had a very busy work schedule, forcing me to prioritize the many things I want and have to do in a day. So my workouts and runs have had to be on the low spectrum of daily necessities. This is not the best scenario, however, I do understand that this will happen and instead of resisting and fighting it, I just make an effort to ebb and flow with what is presented to me on a daily basis.
I had my legs from the very beginning of the run. My play list gave me a pep in my step, and for 2.5 miles I cruised the downtown streets of Austin giving thanks to my early morning cancellation. My thoughts were free, my body relaxed, and my pace was quite swift. And then, just when I thought that this was the platform run for the week, a run that sets the pace for the week to come, I felt a tremendously alarming pain in my left knee, right on the inside.
I am an athlete, a trainer, and especially a runner. I feel pain on a daily basis. However, it's more muscle soreness and tightness than anything to be concerned about. I have had my moments of alarming pain, hence the many visits to a chiropractor and massage therapist. Yet, since those visits, I have been at my strongest and quickest. Running has been relatively effortless, and quite simply put, absolutely enjoyable.
The alarming pain forced a change in direction of my course and distance, turning the corner to head back to the gym, hoping and outright praying for this pain to subside and be a freak, yet curable accident. Unfortunately, I knew that it was not. The walk up the stairs to the gym was quite frightening and a tell all fight to the top about the condition of my knee.
I knew that something was not right. I definitely had a few curse words that I was whispering under my breath as I continued to train clients, and even run with one of them. It was after that run, yes completely stupid, that I knew I had injured my knee.
With the help of my management staff, I was on my way to an orthopedic, VIP style, with the worse of thoughts in my head, torn ligament. Greeted at the door by a wheel chair I headed straight to a room for a man handling inspection of the injury. There was no real discomfort with the doctor's twist and jerks of the knee, more pain and alarming jolts of muscle spasms when leg was extended or internally rotated. X-rays created more ambivalence. An MRI would possibly clear up diagnosis confusion, however with the doctor's care and concern with the cost of this, I left the office on crutches with a diagnosis of a possible stress fracture.
What ever the injury was, I knew that any sort of physical activity would be halted and reevaluated for some time to come. I knew that there was something wrong, even if the diagnosis was unclear.
I cried. I think I even screamed in my car. I called my mother. I tried to find logic and purpose for this with my father. I just did not understand at all, for I have been feeling notably strong and fast.
It was a long night, with large amounts of ice cream and good company helping me through what was the most frightening bump in the road I have encountered since becoming a personal trainer. What would I do without a functional left knee? Who would teach my classes? How would I train my clients? What would my days be without exercise? I went to bed unsettled and in complete discomfort.
I awoke to more pain and an instinctual feeling that I needed the familiar care from the doctor that I have working with since I have been in Austin. He knows my body well and the intensity of my job and love for exercise. Though he has plead for me to slow down, he knows that I do my best to act smart when training. The sudden bouts of radiating pain continued to instill fear in me. I do not doubt the diagnosis of a possible stress fracture, but I did question if that was the only thing taking place in the knee. Again, without an MRI, all diagnoses are speculations. As a runner and a trainer, mostly likely there will be evidence of stress in a weight bearing joint such as the knee.
My doctor started to work on the muscles surrounding the knee, following the tightness and aggravation right down to the meniscus and medial collateral ligament. As he man handled my knee, I nearly shot through the roof when he grabbed the meniscus. Poor guy! I think I hit him a few times.
Though not torn, he confirmed my thought that there was definitely some ligament strain causing the pain and inability to trust the stability of my knee. I cried once again.
I have been up for hours this morning, unable to rest in slumber due to this unfortunate and untimely injury. I have asked myself all morning "What the heck am I going to do?" Not only is it out of the question to run or work out but this is going to make training and teaching more challenging than planned for.
My passion for fitness, exercise, and running is what defines me. Plain and simple. Being active keeps me sane. Again, plain and simple and right to the point. I have been here before. First, with chronic shoulder pain and then with a reoccurring IT injury. It's been a long and arduous process rehabilitating the two injuries. And it has been successful, physically and occupationally. The bouts with rehabilitation sparked my interest in musculature balance, thus provoking me to pursue personal training. However, I thought my days of rehab were over.
So once again I have found myself with a limp, in discomfort, and scheduling appointments for treatment. Again, I am forced to question my training and reevaluate my intensity. I know I push the limits of physical activity every day, but I thought I was doing this with as much reason and logic as it is possible for a type A athlete. I have become skilled at standing on the edge of myself, gasping for air and the strength to finish a run or a repetition. This is my life, this is my passion!
Where do I go from here? Good question. The answer is still filled with ambiguity. I know I obviously have to slow down, though still in shock of the outcome of my morning run. There were no symptoms of the possible occurrence of this injury. I will admit I am not the best at listening to signs of over training or pushing myself too hard, but I have become better at this every day since becoming a trainer and an example of making fitness a lifestyle.
So I have taken a few days off from training clients and I have taken exercise off of my to do list for a few weeks. I shopped for comfort food and had my share of coffee on the lake with a good book. Though this is relaxing and a good cure for the blues, it's not the same as a run. However, this injury is nothing to be stubborn about. It is completely necessary and absolutely important to move with caution and act with intelligence. I have to now become the best example of what I teach to my clients. I too now become a student of my body and it's potential and limitations.
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