At the gym, we are trying out a new Body Fat tester. Yesterday the manager asked me to test it out. I knew I didn't want to from the minute that thing came rolling into the gym. My stomach sunk and I began to sweat and I began at that very moment to slip into a very bad mood. Instantly!
I didn't have to of course but I did. Everyone else was doing it. Results definitely FIT! 14% here. 18% there. 10% for most guys. And then there was me.
Normal range, but at the high end. I wish my fellow co-workers were not there, though each consoled my self-deprecation moment and reminded me of my injuries, the skin cancer treatment, and of course the break up.
I don't want these to be excuses to not eat properly. Pints of ice cream and malt balls have been my salvation. However, these excuses are my circumstances! I haven't sweated truly since May 15th. I still can't walk the lake without pain but I am in the process of PT and I am improving. (I just purchased an Aqua belt so I will now be Aqua Jogging 3xs a week.) The skin cancer treatment took a lot out of me and I could really only eat comfort food for two weeks. Potato salad and ice cream will add a few pounds for sure.
The break up has definitely been a set back. We all go through these in our lives. I loss my best friend. And I have gained a few pounds! Each day gets easier, but not yesterday. I stood on the new machine - which is awesome by the way - and I wish I never did. I knew that the results were going to be true of my circumstances. I knew that the number was going to tear me apart. I knew that my self-confidence at that given moment was not strong enough for that. I am smarter than that.
Today is a little better. I talked to my mom. That will always help. I have planned my Aqua Jogging workouts. I have committed to not emotionally eat for a few days. (One step at a time.) I reminded myself that this heart ache will subside in the near future. I looked in the mirror and gave thanks to the new skin on my lips that hopefully will be cancer free. And I have told myself that the number that absolutely shot me down yesterday can only motivate me today!
So today I will count my blessings, avoid the malt balls, and remind myself that I am perfectly imperfect.....normal range, but on the high end!
2 comments:
I totally feel you!! I try to remind myself every time I step on the scale that the numbers there are simply feedback - the are NOT me. The numbers do not define me, they do not have ANYTHING to do with my self-worth. They are simply feedback - to let me know what's been going on in my life over the past week/month/year. They simply reflect my surroundings, my choices, my circumstances. And, quite honestly, they are not that great at reflecting those things in an accurate or timely fashion.
But, all in all, I continue to weigh and use that as a guide to make corrections here and there to continue on my journey. I'm glad you stepped on the machine yesterday. Now you can make note of the number and move forward.
Thank you for sharing.
a scale only measures weight, not worth! <3
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